I hope you’re doing well

Whose idea was it to instruct the writers of letters and emails to begin with this insincere introduction?

If I receive one of these missives from somebody who doesn’t know me, I immediately wonder why they should care how well I’m doing. It’s inappropriate and makes me feel somewhat antagonistic to the writer. I could have a cold or I could be in intensive care. Either way, it’s none of their business. And I think that what irks me most is that the statement doesn’t even suggest that they might want to actually hear how well I’m doing.

A more informative way to start a message to someone you don’t know would be something like:

“My name is Joe Biden (insert real name here) and I work for ABC Cleaners (insert real company here). I’m writing to you because… etc.”

If someone I don’t know writes to me and introduces themselves this — the old-fashioned—way, I feel like I want to help them out.

On the other hand, enquiring as to the health, family, and career of someone you know well is perfectly fine. A wise old Italian gentleman once taught me that, if you want a favor from someone, write to them or call them (this was before email) and ask about them in a friendly, caring way. Remind them of any contacts you’ve had in the past (just in case). Then, about a week or two later, you contact them again and ask for the favor.

He said, your acquaintance knows exactly what you’re doing and why you’re doing it. But he will still respect you a little more than if you just came straight out with a request for a big favor. However, this strategy works only with someone you know.

Therefore my advice to job-seekers and other cold-callers is to skip the trite and impersonal “Hope you’re doing well” and just get straight to the point by introducing yourself and what you’re looking for.